Why is it so hard for our young people to get married today? Is it a spiritual problem, since we know that our enemy hates traditional marriage? Could it be a social or psychological problem as well? Could it be that we become a victim of paralysis by analysis? Could the fear of missing out make us hesitant to make a choice? Could it be our unrealistic ideals and standards for a spouse that no one can meet? Or, could it be that we have so many choices that we become unable to make a choice?
When the idea of getting married first occurred to me I asked a friend to point out to me the young, single, and available girls in church. Which he did. It turned out that there were 4 or 5 girls at that time who were single, available, and attractive. I married one of them.
You do not fall in love and then get married. You marry, and then you learn to love them. You do not need to get to know them before you get married. You get married and then you spend years getting to know this stranger who you married. Choosing someone to marry is first a choice. You must choose someone, and they must in turn be willing to be chosen. The burden of this transaction rests on the man.
Throw away your list of qualifications and standards. Be a true Christian and you have all of the standards that you need. Find someone who you feel attracted to who is single and available and ask them. Dating is a waste of time if marriage is your end goal.
Let me say that your parents, and your pastor, are bad judges of character when it comes to marriage. Pick someone who attends your church and that is enough. You will be marrying a stranger no matter how much time you spend together before marriage. Pick a spouse, and then tell your parents and your pastor your plans.
"And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. ..." Genesis 24:66-67
Isaac and Rebekah never dated, they were total strangers, but that didn't matter. They made a choice, and then they made it work.