We seem to live in a narcissistic age. We see everywhere people who exhibit an inflated sense of self importance. They think that they are superior to everyone and that they deserve to be respected. They are self exalting, which is another word for pride.
We also live in an age where empathy is in short supply. I am no longer a conservative because they consider me to be a parasite because of Social Security and Medicare. They think that poverty is a moral issue and therefore do nothing to help their needy neighbors. Or their employees.
Narcissism may be important to run a business or a government. But it disqualifies you from the kingdom of God. God delights to share His glory with His people, but He will not share His glory with a proud, selfish man or woman. You can run a corporation, but you are unworthy to clean the restrooms at our church.
Pride always goes before destruction. Just because they get away with it today does not guarantee that they will get away with it tomorrow. Payday with God is not always Friday, but God always pays in full.
So if you think that you deserve to be honored watch out. God keeps good books.
ReplyDeleteHere are my thoughts on narcissism and my observations. I don’t intend to be critical but shall I say, food for thought.
I have been in business for many years but am straining to think of any long term successful business people I’ve had dealings with that I could call narcissists.
On the other hand I can think of a great many I could name over the years within the church itself.
It is clear, certain environments tend to act as a magnet for those with narcissistic character traits.
In CFM, pastors can wield significant control over the personal lives of their congregants. They often dictate who they can date, who they can marry, where they can live, their finances and can even require cutting off contact with people outside the church. For the narcissist, this provides the ideal environment where their need to control others is spiritually validated.
In a situation where leadership often frowns on outside influences such as owning a tv, watching movies, secular music, social media and higher education the narcissist can thrive because their associates are left with reduced external reality checks and the leader can become the main source of truth and news.
The church planting model also places a fair bit of pressure for young men to move up the ranks and create their own church. Since there is no formal training involved this rapid track to leadership allows charismatic and over confident individuals (common traits of narcissists) to get their own title and platform without putting in the deep long term character work that may weed them out. There is the opportunity to fast track into ministry and to become the focus of attention.
Because the church views itself as fighting against principalities and powers in high places, any criticism of leadership is highly discouraged and almost considered an attack. Narcissists have fragile egos and cannot tolerate accountability. If they are confronted on an issue, it is normally reframed as sowing division or rebellion.
I’ve noticed over the years the most narcissistic disciples tend to rise through the ranks fastest and have the ability to establish a church quite quickly but they cannot maintain the thing long term before some sort of moral failure overtakes. A new pastor then comes in and can take things the the next level.
Narcissists often have early success in business enterprises too. Their unshakable if delusional self belief, grandiosity, charm and charisma are great assets in launching a venture but quickly become liabilities as the enterprise scales. Traits like over confidence, lack of empathy and strict need for control ultimately leads to damaged relationships and a toxic workplace environment.
I do find it quite paradoxical that in condemning narcissism you seem to be quite comfortable promoting a church structure where authoritarian personalities thrive and members are taught to distrust their own judgment, suppress criticism and equate disagreement with rebellion against God.
I would disagree with the restroom reference though. These individuals could probably benefit from cleaning the toilets but unfortunately some of them find themselves behind the pulpit.
It is only when we cast a cold objective eye over the systems and structures we endorse that we can ever hope to improve them.