When my wife died, that marked the end of that story. I have memories. She died and I have no regrets and no reserves. The only thing left undone was how to spend our 50th anniversary.
Since Kathy died I have not thought at all about how to be a better husband. My fathering days seem to be over too.
Maybe this is part of the reason why I am not actively searching for a new wife. That story has ended. I don't need to go back to try to relive married life or to try to do it better. I have moved on from married life.
You who are still married will not understand my situation now and I do not expect you to understand. You think that I need a wife and you are clouded in your thinking by your own married life. I have learned to live without the one who I thought I could never live without.
There is no epilogue to my story. When it ended, it was over for me. I can ponder it, I can reminisce over it, but it is over and I am done with it.
It's kind of how I see Christmas. When Christmas day is over I am done with it until next year. Except in marriage, there is no next year.
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