Changing My Name

 I want to change my name. I want to be called Micah or Obadiah or some other minor prophet's name. I want to wear rustic clothing and I want to eat strange food. I want to behave in bizarre ways. Laying on my side for a year, marrying a prostitute, etc.

But the most important reason for being a minor prophet is so that I can be mean to everyone and talk trash to everyone and blame it on God. I don't want to be courteous and kind. I want to be critical and harsh. I don't want to speak the truth in love. I want to pronounce doom and gloom and destruction on people in need.

Being a minor prophet is a great job for men who do not like people. For men who think that everyone is a loser. Say thus saith the Lord and anything you say is validated.

God help us.